An online conversation made me realize I’m not a “Joiner”. I tend to only join groups because someone in that group sparked my interest. After attending (in-person or online) a few months of a group, I often find it is not a good fit for me.
I am purpose and goal driven. Money is a side effect of pursuing my purpose, goal, vision, or dream. Material possessions do not excite or motivate me. Calling on me to “be a team player” will not motivate me. Insisting I meet some arbitrary goal which I have not set for myself will meet with, often epic, failure.
Even as a child I was difficult. I would refuse to draw a picture “just like on the blackboard”. I never wanted to perform preset experiments or lesson plans unless I could clearly see how they would lead me to my goal. I seldom played games to win. Instead, I played games to experience all the possible outcomes and allowable ploys.
I have tried very hard to fit in, to behave, to conform. Failure. Failure. Failure. When, instead, I simply follow what’s in my head and heart I find success and satisfaction. My definition of success, not necessarily yours.
I am, once again, in the process of determining what I want to be when I grow up.